Plastic and silicone rechargeable vibratorLet me fill you guys in on what happened with my Lelo Iris. I guess I should explain that I don’t remember exactly when I last used this vibe, but I think it was late last summer. Back when my sex toy collection consisted of nothing more than an Iris, a Hitachi Magic Wand, a Pocket Rocket Jr, and a few Liberator Shapes, my Iris got more action than any of the others. Yes, even more than the Hitachi because there’s no cord to contend with, and the Iris has dual motors with a variety of patterns and pulses.

I loved the shape, design, vibration patterns, dual motors, and everything else about the Iris, except for the control. I thought it was a bit awkward at first, and it took me a while to get used to it, but over time the button sensitivity diminished. Even just trying to push it to turn on the power got difficult, as the button became really firm and hard to press. Trying to increase speed or change function also became trickier because the firmness of the button made pushing it in just the right place a nightmare. That’s too much work and frustration to deal with when I have a stash of other sex toys that maybe aren’t exactly the same, but at least have easier-to-use controls and do as their told. So, my Iris had been neglected for many months.

The other day I decided take it out, dust it off, charge up the battery, and reacquaint myself with an old friend. There’s a light around the control button that flashes while it’s charging, and it stays lit when the battery is fully charged. Only, I got impatient after an hour or so and tried to use it even though the light was still flashing. It wouldn’t turn on. Thinking I must have locked it the last time I put it away, I pressed and held the center of the button to unlock it, and still nothing happened. Assuming the battery was so drained that it would need the entire recommended 3 hours of charging time, I plugged it back in and left it. For several hours, in fact.

Well, the light never quit flashing, even after leaving it for over 6 hours. Also, I can’t get either motor to come on. I’ve tried everything I can think of, so I must conclude that the battery has gone bad and isn’t holding any kind of charge. This is a total bummer.

I haven’t decided if I want to replace my Iris or not. It’s well past the manufacturer’s warranty, and I did get a few years of rigorous use out it. Plus, Lelo has some awesome looking newer designs I’d love to try, and I’m determined to get my hands on a GiGi first. Besides, I can still use my Iris as a non-vibrating toy. The curved shape is great for g-spot stimulation, and while the tip has some give, the shaft is still pretty firm. For that reason, I’d rather not declare my Iris officially dead. It doesn’t work anymore, so I’ll just say it’s retired.