Buzz on Vibes

Here’s a super fun product line that was recently brought to my attention: Happenis Hats, the latest in adorable penile adornment. But before I go into details about the hats themselves, I’d like to give serious props to whoever came up with the name, as I think it’s hilarious and clever and I love it.

Not too long ago, a really nice gentleman contacted me to ask if I was interested in reviewing penis hats. Not having a penis myself, I wasn’t sure this was a product I could accept for review, so he agreed to let me host a giveaway for a set. But that will happen later. For now, I’m just going to taunt you all with pictures I took of the sample set they sent me. I can be cruel that way.

HapPenis Hatsare little hats with an attached soft and stretchy scrunchie-type band to hold them in place. There are five designs to choose from: a Top Hat for formal occasions, a Fez for convention time, a Cobra (the snake, not the car)…

  

… there’s also a Jester for courting fun, and a Viking Helmet for when it’s time to pillage or sing opera.

 

Since I lack the necessary appendage to use these as intended, I decided to dress up a few of my favorite dildos (that also happen to be able to stand up on their own). The hats fit better on sex toys with a curved tip because they have a flat base and tend to slide off the tops of straight dildos. For this reason, they also sat better on my toys that have a more pronounced head. But then again, they are meant to sit on top of heads, so that makes sense. Anyway, are you guys ready to see my sex toys modeling these cute little caps? Cue runway fashion show music….

Dressed to impress the Icicles No. 21is sporting the HapPenis Top Hat.

  

Doesn’t Icicles No. 9 look most upstanding with that Fez on? Now it only needs a Harley to take up the high-dive at the next convention.

  

Gracefully modeling the Cobra is my Denma Lady. The cobra hat is actually really cool because it has some kind of small wires or boning down the back that allow it to be bent and positioned.

  

 

Last, but certainly not least, here’s Starlet Toyfriend modeling the Viking. I very nearly drew a face on the front and thought about looking for something to make a wee fake beard for it, but then I realized that might be going too far. Instead I just bobbed it up and down while chanting “SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM!”

 

As you can see, I have way too much fun when left to my own devices. Especially when I have dress-up hats to put on them. Oddly enough, I began to feel a little envious that these dildos of mine were having all the fun, and I decided to try on a few of the hats myself. See, the soft elastic band doubles as a scrunchie very well, so they work on ponytails as well as penises!

  

Apologies for the lack of photo quality there. It’s actually quite difficult to take a picture of the back of your own head.

Interested in learning more about HapPenis Hats? Check out their website at HapPenisHats.com. There you can get company information and entertain yourself with their Fun & Games page. Oh, and stayed tuned, because I did mention a giveaway. That will be posted soon.

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